Hello. Are you:

• Sick of the onslaught of SDAs (Software Defined Acronyms)?
• Annoyed that “Software Defined” has become a meaningless marketing term?
• Irritated to see existing solutions rebranded as “Software Defined” to look cooler?
• Thinking that SDA should actually have been defined above as “Software Defined Abbreviations”, since most of them don’t make pronounceable words?

Then don’t read on, because having had an earful of Software Defined Solutions thrown at me in the last few days, I was curious to see how bad things have gotten, by seeing what Google would auto-fill for me if I typed in “Software Defined ” followed by a single letter.

Software Defined Search Results

Here’s what I got, with only a few items removed that weren’t really relevant:

• Software Defined Anything
• Software Defined Antenna
• Software Defined Architecture
• Software Defined Availability
• Software Defined Business
• Software Defined Buildings
• Software Defined Networking
• Software Defined Bullshit
• Software Defined Cloud
• Software Defined Computing
• Software Defined Cellular Networks
• Software Defined CB Radio
• Software Defined Data Center
• Software Defined Enterprise
• Software Defined Environment
• Software Defined Everything
• Software Defined Flash
• Software Defined Firewall
• Software Defined FM Radio
• Software Defined GPS
• Software Defined GNSS
• Software Defined Infrastructure
• Software Defined Internet Exchange
• Software Defined IT
• Software Defined Memory
• Software Defined Monitoring
• Software Defined Modem
• Software Defined Machines
• Software Defined Networking
• Software Defined Perimeter
• Software Defined Power
• Software Defined Protection
• Software Defined Storage
• Software Defined Storage For Dummies (I had to keep this one in!)
• Software Defined Security
• Software Defined Video Networking
• Software Defined Visible Light Communication
• Software Defined VHF Radio
• Software Defined Vision Correction
• Software Defined Wireless Networks
• Software Defined WAN
• Software Defined Wireless Sensor Network
• Software Defined Wiki

Software Defined Stop It or I Keel You

Please, let the madness stop. I gave Tom Hollingsworth a little slap over at Network Computing for espousing a “Software Defined Unified Theory.” Don’t make me cut somebody.

Surprising Software Defined Omission

Wot no Software Defined Cloud?

Software Defined Campaign

Join me, brothers and sisters. Let us rise up against the Software Defined Oppressors and fight for our right to go 10 minutes without reading the words “Software Defined” in an inappropriate context. We didn’t land on Software Defined Acronyms; Software Defined Acronyms landed on us. We will fight them on the beaches! As a blogger, I must put the interests of the networking community first. Your community needs YOU (to stop Software Defining everything that moves).

 

Update 5/31/14: Marcia Savage and Susan Fogarty over at Network Computing also spotted this and created their own amusing article as a Guide To The Software-Defined World.

 

Disclosures

In the interests of full disclosure (since I linked to an article there), I will share that I am a (Software Defined?) Moderator for Network Computing.